DEDICATED TO TRACY, MY BIG LOVE
This is about a "love tragedy" between a girl and me in the USA
where I've been an exchange student for a school year. Tracy has been 16 while I have had just turned
18 years. We visited the same school. Tracy asked me in the hallway to attend a ballroom dancing class
German. I was surprised, because we haven't talked before and we
weren't in common classes.
Spontaneously, I appealed to do so, because I loved social
dacing (1988, I attended a basic and an advanced ballroom dancing class already) and also, I was interested in socializing.
Days later, we danced which was a lot of fun. Of course, dancing that way is a way to get closer to each other. That sport
is great to get aquainted. Since I didn't own a vehicle and there was no public transport system she always picked me up with
her Japanese sports car for classes from my home. The class duration was several weeks. At the end she asked me out for
a "mousse au chocolate" at a place in the mountains outside Hood River. I agreed to get to know her on a more private
basis. Tracy has become my kind of girl, intellect and from her being itself. She had the certain "extra". We had almost the
same favorites (international, artistic and always in a good mood). Her grandparents are originally from Japan. She appeared for my Graduation ceremonies without notice altough she was a Sophmore and said farewell with
personal and written words. A few days later, I had to leave to Germany. Ofently, she made moves towards a relationship
but I was afraid that it all fails due to a common future. Nowadays, I regret strongly, not to have given us a chance. I liked
her very much. She was writing a few post cards, e.g. from Italy (Capri) and Ithaca, NY (Cornell University); despite
my - neutral - answers, she didn't reply. I have no idea what she's thinking or doing. She's probably
working as leader in a business firm. About 2001, she was President of the Japanese Exchange Teacher Alumni Association, JETAA. Since 15 years, I'm thinking of Tracy every day. When I finished school at 1992, I looked towards a
way to get a job suiting the US labor market but that didn't work out or weren't my type. Why didn't I make
it clear to her that I love her? It was the difficulty that she's living in a country so far away and the rules there to immigrate
are so hard. Also, I didn't have the right job. I didn't like the idea to just work as a unskilled worker and not being able
to earn enough money. I know, material aspects are not primary for a relationship but it makes life hard. A secondary education
in the US is not possible unless you have money or excellent grades.... Then, another wrong decision made it unpossible to
get to America: I went into the public adminstration sector. Nobody needs that knowledge there. The last news were that
I get to know another woman to which I'm married now. What conclusions did I make from that? Grab the bull by the horns -
when you're already in the right place at the right time and meet a great woman!
If I just could turn back time.